Public Speaking Myth #1 – Great public speakers are born not made
I could not wait to learn to drive a car and get my driving licence.
I was so excited at the prospect of being “my own person”, being independent and not having to bother my father to drive me here, there and everywhere.
The minute I could, I got my learner’s permit and enlisted the help of a driving instructor.
I still remember that first lesson like it was yesterday. The instructor, a surly, middle-aged, no-nonsense type of guy, turned up to my home, in a cute, zippy, red Ford Laser. This was to be “my car” for the next few months.
But that’s where the magic ended. After I put the key in the ignition, everything felt so daunting and unfamiliar. I’d never had to concentrate so hard - distinguishing the brake from the accelerator, remembering which indicator to use when turning left or right, regularly checking the rear-vision mirror, glancing every so often at the speedometer, in case I went over the speed limit, safely changing lanes, watching for pedestrians and bikes and of course steering the car in a straight line.
My dad had made driving look easy, fluid and effortless. But now, I felt incompetent and could not imagine ever being a good driver!
Fast forward a few decades and I, like most drivers, do all this on automatic pilot.
Learning to drive a car, learning how to swim, learning a musical instrument and learning how to speak in public are all learnable skills.
To master any new thing, you need to do the following:
Have a burning desire
When you want something so badly, you are motivated to keep persevering, no matter what.
My first day on the road was challenging to say the least. But I wanted to be independent, and I was unstoppable.
I also knew you didn’t have to be a rocket scientist to master learning how to drive a car. I just had to get comfortable being out of my comfort zone for now.
All these things were temporary and nothing more than minor bumps in the road. (no pun intended)
Like when you first start your public speaking journey and feel like it’s all too hard and you’ll never get reach your final destination (again, no pun intended!).
You just need to have faith to keep going, no matter what.
Keep learning new skills
My Dad used to often say: “Live till 100. Learn till 100”.
And that’s what life is all about. Continuous learning. Having a growth mindset.
All learning progresses through a number of stages, as shown by the following grid:
Stage 1: Unconscious incompetence
As its name suggests, this is the stage when you aren’t even aware yet that you are incompetent at this new skill.
Before I got behind the wheel of a car, I was blissfully oblivious of how much I needed to learn.
Stage 2: Conscious incompetence
Here, you are conscious of how incompetent you currently are.
This was the stage I was at on Day 1 of learning to drive the car.
I was now super-aware of how little I knew on the driving front. In fact, my incompetence was staring at me in the face.
This is the stage you are at, say when you attend your first Toastmaster’s Meeting, or start a new public speaking course, or attend your very first session with a public speaking coach.
Stage 3: Conscious competence
Now, you are aware that you are competent at the skill in question.
After about 5 driving lessons, I was starting to get the hang of things.
With each new lesson, I was starting to steadily improve and gain confidence. I loved it when my driving instructor would very occasionally praise me and when he looked more relaxed and relieved that I wasn’t about to smash his beautiful new red Ford Laser.
But, don’t get me wrong. I still had to concentrate really hard and use every last ounce of my brain’s processing power.
As a new public speaker, with each new skill you learn, whether it’s writing a speech, eliminating filler words, using gestures, remembering to smile – whatever - you will be concentrating with all your might, but, at the same time, you will be steadily improving.
Stage 4: Unconscious competence
This last stage is the sweetest and most satisfying.
This is where you drive home or to the office, and can’t even remember having driven there!
You may even have had a conversation with your passenger(s) and daydreamed about your next vacation.
Now, you are so skilled at driving, it’s almost like the car has just driven itself to your destination.
But don’t get me wrong, this does not mean you should get cocky and conceited. You still have to be careful and vigilant for dangers on the road.
In the case of public speaking, this stage is when you feel like you, as a public speaker, have almost blended with your audience.
You smile. You use your hands to make a point. You masterfully use eye contact. You are having a conversation with the audience. You are enjoying yourself. You are in the flow. Everything has come together beautifully. At last!
When you keep learning new skills in public speaking and find opportunities to practise them, you’ll become more skilled and proficient at your craft. It’s inevitable.
Which brings me to the next point – the important of practice…
Practice, Practice, Practice
Whether it’s notching up the requisite number of driving hours prior to getting your car licence or in the case of a pilot, flying time, practice is fundamental to improvement and becoming great at anything.
With repetition, you improve and become more polished at your craft. And as a great side-effect, you also become more confident.
So, whether you are an athlete, a musician, a stand-up comedian, a pilot or a budding public speaker, practice is experimenting with what you have learnt in a safe environment.
Tweaking and feedback
Feedback is essential.
This is where a good teacher/coach/instructor comes in.
It’s all very well to practise, but you need to practise with the correct techniques.
When you deliver a speech In Toastmasters and other similar public speaking groups, someone from the club is assigned to provide you with constructive feedback afterwards.
This is delivered in a kind, gentle and totally supportive way and what you have done well is always emphasised.
When you integrate the advice of more experienced mentors and teachers into your repertoire, that’s where the magic is.
In Closing, never, ever feel that a great public speaker is born.
Motivational speaker, trainer and author, Dale Carnegie, famously stated that
“Great speakers are not born; they are trained”.
Remember this quote whenever you start comparing your beginner, novice self to other peoples’ more experienced selves.
They are simply further along the path than you.
© 2022 Susan Weser. All rights reserved.
Susan Weser is the Founder of Speaking2Win, a boutique public speaking and presentation skills consultancy, based in Melbourne, Australia. Susan’s mission is to demystify public speaking and presenting. She loves to fast-track her clients’ public speaking success, empowering them with the skills and confidence to excel in all their public speaking endeavours.
